Step-Families

I am thankful every day that my family unit is intact and in a loving, (mostly) harmonious state.  However, I know several people who have been effected by divorce.  I had one friend in high school, Nicole, who had a long genealogical history of divorce.  She had about eight grandparents and four parents and who knows how many step-siblings.  I knew her when Prop 8 was a big issue in California, especially where we lived.  We spoke about the issue one day and where we stood on it.  She told me that she felt that love was a precious thing, and if you found it, then you should be together, no matter what.  It was too great and too rare, she said.  Coming from her family background as she had, I could see where this philosophy came from.  It was interesting for me to see that divorce could make the people it affected feel the way Nicole did about love.  Divorce didn't always make people bitter.  Sometimes, it gave them hope for something better.

Parenthood

This week, it was especially interesting to watch the videos on active parenting techniques.  I believe that my parents were active parents during my childhood and my two closest siblings as well.  But the younger ones, I think, are experiencing a more permissive style parenting from my parents.  Of course, my mom was never very good at communication and still isn't.  My dad is a pro at helping me solve my problems, work them out myself, and giving me encouragement.  My mom often makes me feel down or stupid when I try to express my problems to her.  Based on my mom and dad's examples, I know which style I want to adopt and use when I am a parent. 

One thing that struck me from watching the videos was that it all looked so simple, so easy.  Of course, the truth of the matter is that active parenting is not always easy or simple.  I think that often the natural man tries to come through, and it is easy to let it.  It takes a little more effort to stop and think about how a situation should best be handled.  That is reason and that is what separates us from other beasts on the earth.  Then, we have to remember that our children have that reason too, and that we should encourage them to utilize it so that it will become second nature to them.  I know that parenting will be as rewarding as it is challenging.  I just hope that with the right arsenal of tools and knowledge, I will be able to become the parent my children need.