Family Rules

My parents have always run a pretty loose ship at home.  Their policy is: I trust you to do the right thing until you prove me wrong, then you have rules and restrictions.  It's worked really well in our family; only my little brother and little sister have really given my parents reason to make up rules.  Because of this policy, I have always considered our family unit to be a "rule-free" family.  So it was interesting to see this week that in fact, my family does have rules.  They are unspoken and many times we are unaware of them, but they are there nonetheless.  Many of these rules I did not notice until I left home and saw how different people managed things differently.

One simple example that I noticed I did differently than some of my roommates was keep doors in the apartment open.  Simple and silly perhaps, but sometimes annoying to me nonetheless when my roommates would leave doors closed all of the time. I'd have to constantly knock before going in, see that no one was even in the room and give an exasperated sound.  Apparently, we have an open door policy at my house.  We only close doors when we need privacy or quiet, otherwise, they stay open. 

One unwritten rule of the family is that we must attend our family members' games, plays, competitions, etc.  In other words, we have to support each other.  Preferably in person.  It most likely started when my mom had to drag all five kids to soccer, basketball, and baseball games.  When some of us were old enough to stay home by ourselves, my mom would gently suggest that we attend the game, instead of stay home.  Of course, something in my mom's "suggestion" inordinately said, "you need to come."  It was imperceptible, yet impossible to disobey.  If ever we chose not to go, there was some feeling of lingering guilt and often a feeling of having missed out on something.  Then my mom would come home and make us feel even better by saying, "Kevin had a great game today.  Too bad you missed it."  Ugh!  Knife to the chest!  And that would ensure our attendence for a couple more weeks.